Giving "BIG"

The last few weeks have proven to be challenging for Daddy. The new treatment protocol kicks his butt for a few days after each infusion. Then around day 5 or six he starts to feel better. He then gets almost a week of feeling “pretty good”, then back for another infusion. Last week (day four) saw him mowing the lawns early one morning before Mary Anne could get some food and drink into him. He caught a little hell for that, but was none the worse for wear.

He’s had a few more opportunities to get out and play, the last one yesterday’s “Rent Party” in Modesto. This “Rent Party” was a benefit of sorts to shore up the coffers of the Modesto Jazz Society. There were five bands total, each played one set. Each set was “donated” (meaning they didn’t get paid) so the club could get some money ahead by charging admission. Pretty cool.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about “giving”. Mainly because I’m a big Oprah fan and I’ve been watching her “Big Give”. However, I have to say that in my opinion this show completely misses the point…..I mean, come on, “Give” is not a noun, for peat’s sake! They way she funds the “Gives”, it’s more like Oprah’s Big Spend”. These people aren’t giving, they’re spending.

Not to take away from the heartwarming stories (and I’m a sucker for heartwarming) but the “Give Big or Go Home” mentality completely turns me off. Giving is not about “Big”….it’s about seeing someone’s need and meeting it. But I guess “Big” makes better television.

Okay, I’ve got a purpose for this rant. I bring it up because watching the show reminds me of one of one of the most memorable moments in my life…and why I remember it so well.

Back around 30+ years ago, my youth choir at church went on a one-week “tour” through San Diego then to parts of Arizona. We sang at churches along the way, and the church folks puts us up for the night at each stop. Daddy went along as a chaperone and musician. I remember how tight money was, and the big deal was to make sure we had enough money to buy our lunches (back in the day you could get a McBurger, fries, and a coke and get change for a dollar). We also went to the San Diego zoo and a fantastic lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Scottsdale that served sopapillas and honey to die for. We pigged out, and for all you family members who recall the “Red Balloon Fried Chicken Incident” back in the sixties, you know how Daddy loved those sopapillas and honey.

Anyway, due to a misunderstanding about how much money I had on me, (Daddy thought I had $20, I only had $10), we were almost out of money by Thursday. We didn’t have enough money for lunch for the next two days. That was the one night the group stayed in a motel, so Daddy and I walked across the street to the supermarket to see if they would cash a check for him. Now, this was before the days of electronic information, to get an out of state check cashed was almost unheard of. Basically, my Dad had to PLEAD his case to the store manager; it was humiliating (as if we’d write a bad check!) but of course they don’t know us from Adam, and after all, we were Californians. Finally my Dad’s sincerity wore them down and they cashed a $10 check for us. “We’re rich, we’ll eat like kings for the rest of the trip!!!”

The next morning Daddy told me he gave $5 to Diana and Debbie, two sisters that were daughters of my parent’s good friends. They were also very short on money, and Daddy couldn’t stand having so much and they didn’t have any. I vividly remember being so PISSED at him, because here I was thinking we were on easy street for the rest of the trip and he goes and GIVES HALF OF IT AWAY. What a brat I was. I remember the look on Daddy’s face when I got pissy with him about it.

I really don’t think, with all the millions of dollars spent, Oprah can even come close to teaching the lesson I learned that day. For $5.